Aparigraha is usually interpreted as not accepting other’s property as gift or gratituously. This is not the correct meaning. It really means performing actions without expecting any reward, without any acquisitive motives and in a completely selfless spirit. Today because all actions are done out of self-interest and desire for acquiring wealth, they lack true human quality. Even worship, religious ceremonies, pilgrimages and the like are done with some kind of expectations and not in a spirit of disinterested devotion.
People today are totally immersed in self-interest. Multiplying desires without limit, they are becoming demonic beings. They are not content with having what they need for essential purposes. They wish to accumulate enormously for the future. They are filled with worries and discontent. Thereby they forfeit their happiness here and in the hereafter. Birds and beasts are content with what ‘they can get. Man alone is afflicted with insatiable desires. Birds and animals have no desire to hoard or to exploit others. But man is a prey to these vices. He forgets his natural human qualities and behaves worse than animals. When these tendencies are given up, the inherent divinity in man will manifest itself. (SSS Vol.20, p. 84)
The Upanishad have regarded Parigraha (acquiring things from others) as sinful. Whatever help we may render to others, we should’ do it with no expectation of any return. The scriptures declare that it is natural for human beings to reap the fruits of their actions. One is entitled to receive benefits from one’s father, mother, teacher and God, but not from others. As God is the creator, sustainer and protector, you can claim anything from God. From your parents you can receive what they are in a position to give according to their capacity. But you should not seek more than that from them. From the preceptor you. must receive only knowledge. From the preceptor, who teaches you what promotes your well-being, you have to seek ways of satisfying him and not any other benefits. Students today lack these qualities. The result is they become indebted to others in various ways. No one can tell what sort: of births they will have to take to discharge these debts in future lives. Limits should be observed even in accepting the hospitality of friends. It is wrong to overstay even in the houses of friends, who themselves might be dependent on their parents. Hence, the cultivation of restraint in accepting offerings from others is essential. You should be ready to offer a fruit, flower, water or other simple thing to a guest, but you should be wary in accepting anything from others. (SSS Vol.22, p. 93)
This means not accepting things from others. You have every right to receive gifts or other things from your parents. You are the product of your parents and hence you can accept from them whatever they give. Aparigraha has certain subtle implications. For instance, it is not proper to accept gifts even from one’s uncles or in-laws or even from one’s brothers. When any gifts are received from these relatives you have to requite them by equivalent presents. Today the Aparigraha role is blatantly violated. For instance, boys when they get married after their education, receive dowries at the time of marriage. This is very wrong. It even amounts to a sin. A girl who has been brought up well is offered to a young man in marriage. That itself is a great gift. Why should one ask for money along with the bride? The parents of the girl may give her whatever they choose. But the bridegroom should not expect or accept anything.
This is the attitude one should have towards gifts from others. It is because many of these immemorial injunctions have been given the go-by that today Bharat is experiencing various troubles. Gifts can be accepted from parents, the preceptor and God. These are the. exceptions to the rule of Aparigraha. From these four, you can receive anything. But even from the parents you should not seek to get anything by compulsion or litigations. What is offered by the parents with love should be received with love. There are limits to what you can receive from the parents. But there is no limit to what you can receive from God. You can accept anything from God because He is the Lord of everything. He can free you from sin and redeem you from the consequences. (SSS Vol.29, p. 16)