Jagatah pitarau vande Parvati Parameshvara’. Parvati and Parameshvara are in the position of parents to the entire world, and from that position they look after the welfare and prosperity of the world. (SSB 1974, p. 207)
It is the duty of parents to sow the seeds of spirituality in the children from their early years. They should not think that parental responsibilities end with sending the children to school or college. They have a duty to see that the children grow into worthy citizens of the country. Great men like Sankaracharya, Vivekananda and Mahatma Gandhi in their daily lives practised the sacred ideals. When the parents lead upright lives, the children will follow them. Hence, parents as well as the teachers should serve as ideal example to the students. (BA, p. 90)
Today, I do not see parents being accorded respect due to them. They are approached only in times of need and neglected later. There is a proverb in Telugu; the boat is set on the fire, once it serves its purpose of taking you across the river. Similarly, parents are sought after only in times of difficulties. Once you are highly placed in the society and accumulate wealth, parents are forgotten. (SSS Vol.31, p. 403)
Parents are given that name because it is through them that we have this wonderful chance of life on earth. For the sacrifices they have made for us, we must Pay Rent to them. Children should pay the rent of respect and service to parents who gave them the room called body. (Uniq, p. 177)
The primary responsibility of parents is to mould the character of their children. (SSP p.42)
The situation in the outside world is appalling. Even tenth standard students are taking to drink and drugs. The parents are not restraining them. Nor are they setting a good example. When the parents exchange words, the children exchange blows. The parents give a free rein to the children instead of controlling them. (SSP p.43)
It is the duty of parents to set children on the right path from their early years. They should not hesitate to correct them and even punish them when the children take to wrong ways. The best way they can show their love for their children is to do everything necessary to make them follow the right path. If the boy proves intractable or incorrigible, they should not hesitate to disown him. It is better to have one good son, rather a brood of bad children. (SSP. P.117)
Never ever show disrespect to your mother. Never make her shed tears by your conduct. Keep her always happy. Her happiness will bring you all good things in life. But we should not worry at the death of our parents. Recently also I told that My mother and father appear before Me. I keep seeing them. They smile on seeing Me. I also smile on seeing them. We should be happy when our parents smile. Small children smile at everyone. We also start smiling when they smile. Parents are also like small children,. Mother always loves her children. Therefore, whatever high position we may attain in our life, we should never disrespect or look down upon our parents.
You should look after your parents and treat them with love and respect. Always consider them as God. Mother is God. Father is God. That is why it is said, revere your mother, father, preceptor and guest as God. Mother gives you your body. Father provides the means of nourishment of the body and opportunities for your progress. Acharya (preceptor) gives you education and God gives you everything. Therefore, you should never forget these four and treasure them in your heart. Mother and father should be there in your heart always. Do not ignore them even if you are facing hardships. One who forgets his/her parents cannot be called a human being. How can you exist without parents? They are the seed of your life, the very source of your life on earth. Therefore, parents should occupy a place of prime importance in your life. Howsoever old they may be and howsoever difficult may be your condition, you should try to make your parents happy as far as it is possible for you. You should feed them even if you have to resort to begging. Bear all hardships to look after them. Fulfil all their desires. This will result in fulfilment of your own desires. Everything in this world is reaction, reflection and resound. None can escape from these. If you cause hardship to your parents today, your children will do the same to you tomorrow. You will get back the result of your actions without much delay. You may love anyone you like, but do not forget your parents. Your parents would never forget you. Hence, you should also not forget them.
It is for this reason that I have come here straight from Brindavan. Earlier, people thought that Easwaramma Day might be celebrated at Kodaikanal. But I decided that I should be at Puttaparthi on 6th May a grand function should be held here and poor people should be made happy by giving clothes and serving sumptuous food. Wherever I am, I perform this function in the same grand manner. We should never ignore poor people. We should always remember them and help them.
But some people out of their short temper abuse and ridicule them. This is a great mistake. If you ridicule them now, it will come back in future. You may be thinking you are ridiculing them but truly you are ridiculing yourself. Never ridicule or insult them. Always love them. If you insult them before others, you will also be insulted by others. You cannot escape from reaction, reflection and resound. (SS June 2008, p.170)
Parents’ karma of the past births does not affect the children. Everyone is born according to his or her own individual karma. When you die, you carry with you, only your own good deeds and bad deeds, not other peoples. When you are born, you have your own kantamala (necklace of karma) around your neck and not other peoples/ So one’s present situation in life depends upon one’s own karma or action in the past and not on the karma of other people. (LS p.3)
Students!
Try to help others to the best of your ability and strength. Help them to get good education. I am here to help you always. Give food to those who need it. There is no charity higher than annadana (giving food to the hungry). Give food free. Give everything free to the needy people.
There are no greater gods than parents,
There is no virtue greater than character.
There is no greater Dharma than Compassion,
There is no greater gain than the company of the good,
There is no enemy than anger,
There is no greater misery than infamy.
There is no greater fortune than reputation.
(SSS Vol.36 Part I p 237)
Parents today tend to lavish too much affection on their children. But such affection alone is not enough. There should be control also over the children. There should be both ‘love’ and ‘law’. Only when both love and restraint are present will the love prove beneficial.
For all the evil habits of children, who are naturally innocent and uninformed, the parents are primarily responsible. They do not make any efforts to teach proper ways of behaviour to the children. They pamper the children by giving them money freely. They want their boys to become high officers, to earn large incomes, acquire wealth and lead a life of comfort and ease. But they do not consider for a moment how they should make the children realise the need to develop good qualities. It is up to parents to teach the children to cultivate right attitudes and moral qualities. To encourage them merely to get on in life is not proper. Parents should feel happy only when they see their sons leading blameless lives, acquiring a good name and behaving properly. To rejoice merely at the birth of a son is foolish.
Dhritarashtra had a hundred sons, the Kauravas. He knew very well that they were a wicked lot, pursuing bad ways. He knew also that his brother’s sons, the Pandavas, were wedded to Dharma (righteousness) and that the Kauravas were inflicting many indignities and injuries on the Pandavas. Although Vyasa told Dhritarashtra several times that, out of his misplaced affection for his sons, he should not allow the latter to persecute the Pandavas, the doting father did not heed Vyasa’s advice. Consequently, he got involved in many sinful actions.
Provide with right values
Vyasa warned Dhritarashtra: ‘Dhritarashtra! I do not say that for you to love your sons is wrong. But you must know what kind of son you should love. Not knowing this, you are behaving like a blind man. By showing your love for a bad son, you are causing harm to the community and the country.’ By his blind infatuation for his sons, what is it that Dhritarashtra achieved? In the final outcome, he had no one even to perform his funeral obsequies. The righteous Pandavas had to render this service to him.
It is not wrong to love children. But you (parents) should learn how to love them. Whenever the children go astray, wittingly or unwittingly, parents should hasten to correct their faults and bring them to the right path. The obligations of parents do not end with· providing food, schooling and knowledge of worldly matters. The children should also be provided with right values. They should not be made to think that the acquisition of wealth is the be-all and end-all of life. Wealth does not accompany one when he leaves the world. Wealth is necessary only for meeting one’s essential needs. Too much wealth is an embarrassment like an over-size shoe. Too little of it is likely to be painful, like a tight fitting shoe. So, it is desirable to have only that amount of wealth that is adequate for one’s basic needs. It is deplorable that today, in the mad pursuit of money, people are forgetting all human qualities.
Students should lead ideal lives
Young people today are totally oblivious to the importance of dedicating their lives to great ideals. It is up to the parents to endeavour to make their children lead purposeful lives. Teachers, on their part, should set an example and inculcate in their wards right values. Only a lighted lamp can serve to light other lamps. If teachers lack idealism how can they inspire their students to lead ideal lives? (SSS Vol.17, p. 10/12)
Declining trend in respect for parents
If you really value Rama’s ideals, you should practise them. You may say that the high ideals of Rama are beyond your competence. But there is one thing, which you can do: Rama carried out the words of his father Pithruvaakya paripaalana. How many today respect the words of the parent? If the father asks the son, ‘Son, where are you going?’ The son replies: ‘Shut up and keep quiet in your place.’ Few have any respect for the words of the father. There is no need to speak about respect for the mother. Such unworthy sons are ruining the world. Mothers are shedding tears over the behaviour of such sons.
This state of things should change. The sacredness of parents should be restored. Young people should cultivate pure thoughts and lead unselfish lives. Children who disregard their parents will be treated likewise their children in due course. Partly the parents are to blame for the way they pamper the children. The children of today are worse than even Ravana’s children, who obeyed him to some extent.
People who acquire knowledge or wealth are making no use of it to help others. They are following a dog- in-the-manger policy. This is not the way to follow Rama’s example. (SSS Vol.28, pp.93-94)
One’s father and mother were equivalent to living Gods.
When He reached the apartments of Kaikeyi Rama learnt about what was happening but Rama resolved to respect the wishes of His father as He knew that it was his duty to follow a path which would give happiness to His father and therefore he came back tin Sita with a resolve to obey His father’s commands. When He came home, He found that Sita was doing Puja to the Lord. Sita is herself divine and there is an inner meaning in the fact of her worshipping the Lord. Great people, and persons who have all the sacredness in them also do such things only because they want to set an example for others to follow. Every man and woman looks to a leader to see what and whom they can follow. Thus, Rama looked at Sita in worship, he asked Sita what she was doing. She replied that she was worshipping the Lord for the sake of maintaining the reputation of Rama and for happiness of the people in the kingdom. Considering that it was a good opportunity for him to give good advice for the people in the world, Rama said to Sita that it is not right for her to worship something which was abstract especially when father and mother who sacrificed so much to bring them up were available as living human beings. He said that one’s father and mother were equivalent to living Gods. You must understand that all life on earth is the aspect of God and in particular Father and Mother are to be regarded as living gods. If you cannot pray for the total welfare of the community around you in whom God lies, how is it possible for you to worship an invisible God. The first thing that you have to do is to look after the welfare of the living community around you. (SSB 1974 p. 217/218)
Fill your heart with sacred feelings and feelings of gratitude towards your parents. On the other hand, if you deceive your parents and betray them by taking to evil path, there can be no sinner worse than you. If you do so, all your education is meaningless. If your education does not foster values in you, it is better you go begging from street to street instead of acquiring such useless education. First of all, you have to cultivate virtues. (SS Sept 12, p. 288)
Do not place your needs first, your joy first. Consider the needs of others, the ananda of others, as even more important. Respect elders and cultivate cordiality between brothers and sisters, teachers and students, employers and employees, etc. Observe the rules laid down in the Shastras, respect the culture of your land and bring honour to the land of your birth. Belief in providence is native to an Indian and fear of sin is inherent in him. Nourish your aged parents; revere them. If you honour your mother, the mother of the Universe will guard you against harm. If you honour your father, the Father of all beings will guard you. This is as true as the fact that if you honour your parents, your children will honour you. (SSS Vol.4)
Parents set bad example:
Parents set bad examples - uttering falsehood, scandalising others, gambling. drinking, behaving violently, inflicting injury, becoming addicted to night-clubs, pictures and drinking –parties, quarrelling at home after arriving home past midnight. How can children used to such low sights and sounds learn to become bright fresh fragrant flowers of the Sanathana Garden of India? (Ashta Pushpanjali p.50)
Parents should never discuss family matters in the presence of their children. They may be having financial and other problems, but they should not let their children know about them. They should deal with their problems themselves, try to keep the children as happy as they can and work for their progress. (SSS Vol.41 p. 149)